RBC: Chapter Seventeen.

With this battle that has been brought on again Henry begins to back up in my mind. His thoughts turn to him deciding he deserved rest. He questions if he should have to fight because he has done SO much. He began to find jealousy in him. He hated the other soldiers that they had not grown tired or weary during this war. They had not run and he had yet he is worn out. Or is he just making excuses? He is nervous for the enemies arrival. The only thing he could think of was how the others had the feeling of victory he longed for and he felt nothing, but hatred towards them and worthlessness. (Or he should feel worthless in my mind). Henry decided that he was determined to win this battle. He wanted that victory as usual, but this time he was going after it. He was intent on the fighting and just kept going reloading and shooting his gun. He was so into it that when the battle was over he hadn't even noticed. He was still going. The other soldiers around him asked if he was okay and he realized it was over. When the lieutenant came over he complimented Henry's fighting. This probably just made Henry more egotistical. He saw himself as hero now. Maybe this was just Henry learning from his past or at least I hope it was. This action may make me actually like Henry instead of think he is just a coward even if he still does it for the wrong reasons.

RBC: Chapter Sixteen.

Now we find the men in the middle of a battle inside trenches. When the guns stopped the rumors spread up and down throughout the trenches. No one got their hopes up though. The way he was treated now that he was back at the regiment made him seem like he was off the hook now. He began talking as if he wanted to be known and have some memorable words for others to hear. They fought the best they could according to Henry. His thoughts were that the general was at fault for the battles with no point. One man stopped his "high speech" when yesterday's battle was mentioned with Henry in it. This threw him off his soap box and put fear into the deepest parts of him. He stopped talking now when it seemed someone already knew or would find out. This man knew nothing, but it made Henry realize that they could still find out what happened. They find another battle is coming and Henry is tired of the many battles. They stand readied anyway and no one runs.

RBC: Chapter Fifteen.

Henry remembered the letter that had been given to him by Wilson before their first battle. He wasn't going to give it to him when he decided he was going to keep it. He began to think also that it would bring back hurt to Wilson. Henry began thinking of how he had been "involved" in the battles. He seemed to think that his time was up. His battle was fought so he wanted to go home and get the glory. He could be seen as a veteran and had done the work now, but really I think it is a lie and he is selfish. This appeared to be him talking his way through not being guilty again. All of a sudden he saw himself as some great soldier and had experience? I do not think so. It stunned him when then Wilson asked him for the letters back. He gave them back, but fumbled trying t find something to say. That did not work and he gave in to saying nothing when giving them over.

RBC: Chapter Fourteen.

Henry begins to listen around hearing the noises from places surrounding the camp. He is back at the regiment and had just awoke form a deep sleep. Wilson came to check on him. When he helps him with his wound Henry finds it very painful. He is exclaiming that he is being to rough with it. Soon Henry began to see that war had made Wilson a different person. Each one of them had changed in some way because of war. Wilson had a sense of wisdom about him that seemed to come due to his becoming a soldier and entering this war. He talked as if he had the knowledge of being there for years when it wasn't that long at all since they had first fought. Henry informed Wilson of Jim's death. He seemed to feel disappointed to me, but as if it happens all the time. While they were talking a fight broke out. A man was being teased and had spilled coffee on his knee. When Wilson tried to break it up he was thought to be dumb. He thought it stupid of these men to fight because they shouldn't fight against their own people. They were already fighting against an enemy who needed to fight on the same side then too. Also, Wilson mentioned how many men were flocking back that had been thought dead. They were like Henry, but did they run too?

RBD: Chapter Thirteen.

Henry walked towards his regiment and came across a man who seemed to be standing guard. The man asked who was there and Henry thought the voice was the voice of Wilson. It was him and they reunited with each other. Henry told Wilson of what had "happened" to him. His story was that he had a very tough time and was shot in the head. This was a lie though, unless you consider his emotional stress. He was actually hit with a rifle and it wasn't from the enemy as he made it seem. Wilson was immediately concerned. Henry had that heroic thing about him if he thought about it now. Even if it was a lie. Wilson called for others and some took good care of Henry. They fixed him up and gave him some resting time. Henry looked all around at the people and you would think guilt would fill him, but it doesn't say so. I think guilt should have filled him when he returned because he did not even fight yet he was getting all this good treatment from his men.

RBC: Chapter Twelve.

Battles are breaking out again and just as Henry wanted they started to retreat. He soon finds the men around him and he is in the midst of ti. He came across a man whom he tried to ask what was going on and the man said to leave him alone. When Henry persisted in asking the man things became rough. He pulled at his arm which was in the clutch of Henry and ended up pulling so forcefully that it came the man came back and hit Henry in the head. Henry began bleeding and his legs started to seem, like they could not longer hold him up. He started back and pondered on whether he should stop to lay down or keep going to find a certain spot. He was going along when he came across a concerned man. This man with a cheery voice offered him help. He took Henry on his way with him in order to guide him back tio his regiment. They arrived at Henry's destination and the man strode away, but Henry realized he had not even seen the man's face.

RBC: Chapter Eleven.

Looking at the men going out to battle brings him to more guilt and again more covering it up. Each time we see everything he has done can be justified as having a good reason for doing so. This being because he cannot just be okay with taking it that he did run. Instead he builds himself up and makes himself feel better by saying things that may be wrong with him or that it was for the good of others in the end to make it better for him. Henry was greedy and even even pinned himself to be selfish. He always felt low for what had happened. He thought if he saw men retreat from a battle then it would make them no better than he. This way they would be on the same level and he could not feel as bad. They would be equal or "symmetrical". This was always an internal battle Henry had. He wanted that glory, pride, and bravery, but he knew he did not deserve it. The boyhood dream of becoming a hero to many who was looked up to seemed it would not come after all. Henry thought that if the others did end up retreating and ultimately he got his pride back that it would be a life saver. He could then be successful and live up to what he wants. His mind was boggling around these many thoughts, but it almost seemed wrong to him that he want his people to lose. It is like he is signing them off for murder and he was at fault. "A defeat of the army had suggested itself to him as a means of escape from the consequences of his fall" (29). When he came to the conclusion that maybe they would not lose the battle he began to ponder what he was going to use as an excuse now. He could find nothing and so feared his return. He questioned what if they laugh at him for what they had done and what if they decided to keep a special; watch on him. He was worried about these many things and has been for some time.